


The four people that Connor didn't have chance with...

by orphan_account



Category: Primeval
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-24
Updated: 2014-11-24
Packaged: 2018-02-26 21:59:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2667881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>...and the one that he did.</p>
<p> Main ship Connor/Becker, small mentions of character death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The four people that Connor didn't have chance with...

He had been through this far too many times. He wasn't going to let it happen again.

 

The first time was Stephen. He was brave, and smart, and gorgeous, _oh so gorgeous._ He protected Connor and saved his life too many times to count. He was embodiment of everything that Connor wanted but couldn't have.

 

Connor remembers running up to Cutter and Stephen that fateful day. Remembers those piercing blue eyes and chiselled face. Remembers the small jibes thrown at him, but he didn't care because how could he be angry at someone so perfect? Then Stephen went after the Gorgonopsid, alone, and Connor's admiration grew even more. He was so considerate of other people's lives and Connor was sure that Stephen Hart was pulled straight from a fairy tale. He was the brave knight and the dinosaurs were the evil beasts.

 

Connor tried to distance himself, not just for his sake but for Abby's too because he was not the only one taken with the team hero. The sick feeling in his stomach when Stephen was bitten by that...that _thing_ nearly threw Connor to the floor. But the team needed his help and Claudia was surprisingly terrifying when she was angry and Abby was the one that Stephen wanted. He even asked her out. Not that Connor cared, no of course not.

 

The team assumed he liked Abby and he gladly played along with it.

 

No one knew that he liked men as well as women but it was really none of their concern anyway.

 

The first person to guess his misplaced feelings was Abby. She noticed his hurt face at the pool. _You're really not my type._ The words haunted Connor's sleepless nights for days. But then again, should he really be surprised?

 

Big, strong, handsome Stephen would never go for scrawny, nerdy, useless Connor because no one ever did.

 

Abby tried her best to console him, but he assured her that it was just a stupid crush, something that would blow over in a week.

 

It didn't.

 

Every time Connor was close to leaving his feelings for Stephen behind, the man did something so utterly heroic that Connor couldn't not like him.

 

Then Tom died and Connor was broken and didn't speak for days. Stephen comforted him and offered him a shoulder and some beer. Connor accepted.

 

They became somewhat friends over the next few weeks and Connor was falling harder for the man than he would have liked.

 

Helen's great reveal when she and Nick came back through the anomaly made Connor's admiration and crush on Stephen dissipate immediately. He had lied to Cutter, a man Connor greatly looked up to, for so many years. All for Helen, who really wasn't that great of a person, _to put it lightly._ Connor thought.

 

And so Stephen lost a piece of Connor's heart that he didn't even know he held.

* * *

The second person that Connor didn't have a fraction of a chance with is Caroline.

 

Connor considered himself a genius, he built the anomaly detector single handed. Which he classed a brilliant feat.

 

Where he had brains, Connor lacked appearances. His hair was too long, and his clothes were too baggy. No matter how hard he tried, Connor still lacked the ability to look like anything other than a pre pubescent teenage girl.

 

So why the hell would a girl like Caroline, so lovely and beautiful, ever be interested in him?

 

He didn't question it, didn't even think twice. A pretty girl was actually willingly talking to him, and he was too brainless to realise that something was wrong immediately.

 

When he looks back on it, Connor could hit himself. She was way too sweet, she smiled too much and she was always being condescending towards Abby, but she never let him kiss her. He should've known that a girl like her would never go for a guy like him.

 

It made sense when it was revealed that she was paid by Leek to date him, but that doesn't mean that it didn't hurt.

 

Abby played emotional healer, again. She was good at things like that. Well, she mainly said unrepeatable things about Caroline, not that Connor minded because Abby was a great friend and she knew how to make him feel better.

* * *

Falling for Abby was inevitable. She was so quirky and smart and amazing. She was brave and Connor felt lucky to even have her as a friend.

 

But falling for her was also a huge cliché.

 

The dorky best friend that pines over the beautiful, popular girl. By some miracle, the girl loves the boy back. Not in Connor's case though.

 

His feelings for Abby really started developing during the 'Stephen phase'. She comforted him and made him feel better and stayed up until ungodly hours of the night playing video games with him as a distraction. She stopped flirting with Stephen and rebuffed his offer of a date.

 

Then Abby let him stay at her place and they grew even closer. Multiple times, she had told Connor that they were nothing more than friends, and that's all their relationship could ever amount to.

 

Connor took her friendship, and when he started dating Caroline, he mistook Abby's dislike for her as jealousy.

 

Then for the briefest few hours where Connor thought Abby was dead, he was sure that nothing could hurt more. Not a spare thought was cast for Stephen or Caroline, it was like they were never really significant because Abby wasn't just a crush or a girl he picked up in a video store. She was Abby and he loved her and she never knew.

 

But then she wasn't dead and Connor was more determined than ever to let her know. He couldn't let either of them die without her knowing.

 

This thought is probably what pushed him to tell her exactly how he felt about her as he was holding her over a cliff.

 

She begged him to just let her go, they didn't need to both die.

 

Connor confessed his feelings and Cutter helped him pull her back to safety.

 

Abby didn't speak to him much after that.

 

Back at the flat, she told him that she didn't feel the same way, but she didn't want it to affect their friendship.

 

Of course she didn't. She was pretty, smart Abby, who goes for brave, confident types. _Like, like...like Stephen._ Connor thought bitterly.

 

He swore to himself that he wouldn't let himself get hurt like that again.

* * *

Connor's borderline obsession with Professor Cutter wasn't exactly a secret. Connor had idolised the man since before University. It felt almost surreal that he got to work with his idol on a day to day basis.

 

He wasn't sure when the feelings started, hell, Connor didn't even know he had feelings for Cutter until the day that Helen invaded with her clone army.

 

Connor ran back inside the burning building without a passing thought for his own life. Cutter was in there and he wasn't going to let him die, not so soon after Stephen.

 

He found the bleeding man and so desperately wanted to get help. But he obeyed Cutter's last wishes and just sat with him. Even surrounded by fire, Connor could feel Cutter getting colder.

 

As he sat, helpless, beside the dying man, Connor realised with a start that he didn't want to lose Cutter too. He wasn't just losing an idol, Connor was losing a friend, and someone he kind of...maybe had feelings for? He wasn't sure.

 

Cutter was just always there, and though he sometimes thought of Connor as a nuisance, he acknowledged the boy's brilliance. He praised Connor when he built the ADD and he didn't patronise him when one of his machines went wrong.

 

Losing Cutter would be the final breaking point for Connor, and he doesn't think he can handle it.

 

Cutter died and Connor picked up his body, carrying it outside with his face stained with ash and tears and he realised that everyone he loved had left him, in one way or another.

 

_Love is overrated anyway._

* * *

Abby got a new boyfriend and Connor got his own flat. The first thing to arrive in his mail was an invitation to Caroline's wedding. He visited Cutter's and Stephen's graves everyday, then once a week, and then not at all.

 

Everyone noticed the change in Connor. He worked more, ate less, slept even less than he used to, which was saying something.

 

Connor, on the other hand, was facing a dilemma. He once again fell for a person he would never stand a chance with. Captain Becker.

 

Captain Becker who was serious, demanding, and cool. Captain Becker who was all muscles and orders and buzz kill. Captain Becker who was flirting with Sarah.

 

Connor, naïve little Connor who was always getting himself into trouble or almost getting himself killed. Connor, who vowed to never let anyone hurt him again, had to leave the room and hide away in the training room.

 

"Connor?" Abby asked, cautiously. Her guilt never fully went away for breaking his heart, but he had assured her that he was over it.

 

"Con, are you okay? I saw you storm out of the room. Everyone is asking what is wrong, but I came to talk to you on my own" Abby said, slowly sliding down the wall, sitting next to her now sobbing best friend.

 

"Is there something wrong with me, Abs? It that it?" Abby's face twisted in sympathy and she cuddled into his side.

 

"No, of course not. You're brilliant, Con, anyone can see it" Abby said, rubbing his shoulders soothingly.

 

"Am I just generally unlovable? Stephen picked you and Helen over me, though I was never really an option but still. Caroline picked money over me. I was never an option for you, either. Cutter chose Jenny, and even Claudia, a woman who never existed. I know I sound pathetic and childish but everyone that I have ever cared about hasn't even looked at me twice" Connor pulled at his hair, and Abby bit her lip to stop her tears from spilling.

 

She knew Connor was hurt by her rejection, but she never knew that he was hurt by...well everything else, too.

 

"Connor, I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am, I really do love you. As a brother. But one day, you'll find someone who loves you as something more than that" Abby said, wiping his tears away carefully.

 

"Who? Who on earth would chose nerdy, useless Connor? I'm not an idiot Abby, everyone here thinks I'm a liability that can't take care of myself!"

 

"Don't talk about yourself like that! You're incredibly smart, and sweet, and devoted-" Abby listed, trying her best to cheer up Connor, who had jumped from his position on the floor, opting to pace back and forth angrily.

 

"Then why doesn't anybody pick me! It's not fair! I think it's about time that I got a chance to be happy. I lost Stephen, Cutter, you, Caroline and now even Becker!"

 

"Connor, I didn't know-" but he did not hear her words.

 

"I'm sick of setting myself up only to be rejected, or to watch the person I care about die in front of me. I can't be second best if I don't make myself an option. Becker can't choose Sarah over me if _I'm not a choice._ Right?" Connor stopped pacing to stare at Abby's shocked form.

 

"Abby, what are you staring at?" Connor asked, finally stepping out of his selfish, 'all about me' problems and his concern for Abby took over.

 

"Connor, turn around" a much manlier voice than Abby's echoed through Connor's ears and it was Connor's turn to freeze. What did he do? Face Becker, or run for it? Deciding on the much less humiliating option, Connor spun to look at Becker, wide eyed, before bolting in the direction of the door that Becker was not occupying.

 

"Connor!" Becker shouted but Connor couldn't handle it. Not again. He didn't need to be told that he 'wasn't his type' or he 'just thought of him as a friend'. People like Connor just didn't stand a chance with people like Becker. Or Stephen. Or Abby.

 

Connor had set himself up for rejection from the very beginning. Hoping to find refuge in one of the labs, which had sealed, soundproof doors and windows, Connor bolted inside and sat on the ground. Burying his face in his hands, Connor allowed the tears to fall again.

 

What was he supposed to do now? Leave the ARC? A plausible option, actually. All this stupid heartbreak stemmed from these stupid anomalies. If they had never happened, Connor would be sat with Tom and Duncan right now, eating Doritos and arguing about Star Trek. But Tom's dead and Connor is hiding in a lab with glass windows from a man with military training.

 

Connor, in his moment of panic, forgot to lock the second door to the lab.

 

"Connor" Becker said, closing the door behind him.

 

"You don't need to do this, you know. I've heard it before. I'm a great guy and you love me, in a friend way. You're sure that there will be someone out there someday who loves me 'for who I am' and you want to 'stay friends'. Save me the embarrassment and leave, please" Connor sighed, awaiting the oncoming rejection.

 

"I'm not here to reject you, Connor. Quite the opposite" Becker said, sitting on the floor next to him, much like Abby had done before.

 

"Don't be stupid, Becker, guys like you don't go for guys like me"

 

"How can you assume that I would not want to be with you, if you haven't even asked" Becker was staring at Connor intently, and Connor wasn't used to someone looking at him like that.

 

"Because the brave, kick ass, hero types don't go for geeks" Connor stated like it was the law.

 

"Just because I wear a uniform does not make me a hero and just because you're smart, it doesn't make you a geek. But, if you are so adamant that I'm not interested, you would be bothered going out for a drink with me? 'As friends' of course" Becker grinned and Connor shrugged.

 

"Considering we're pals, you won't mind paying for this one?" Connor asked, his mischievous grin back on his face where it belonged.

 

"Sure, but you're paying for the take away next Friday. That's what man friends do, isn't it? Drink beer, eat a take away and watch football games?" Becker said and Connor nodded.

 

"And, of course, as a good friend, you won't mind me crashing on your couch? Can't go home to the wife smelling of beer, can I?" Connor joked.

 

"Wouldn't dream of it. If you're lucky, I might even make you breakfast in the morning, a good friend wouldn't leave you with an empty stomach" Becker winked and stood up.

 

"Just to be cautious, that was a flirty invitation, right? I'm not misreading the signals?" Connor asked, still slightly unsure.

 

"Misread this" was Becker's only response before pressing his lips to Connor's.


End file.
